Ten months ago, I was preparing for the worst case scenario. My mother was in very bad health. She had been diagnosed with stage three cancer a few months prior. Multiple myeloma. Cancer that attacks the bone marrow. It’s supposed to be one of the most painful ones. I tried to somehow ready myself for the possibility or likelihood that she would not be with us this Christmas.

After all the steady prayers, miraculous stem cell voodoo and various chemo procedures, she has fought back and surprised even the doctors with a remission-like comeback. She was released from the hospital a couple days ago for a three week stem cell/chemo holiday.

Since her immune system is now beaten to a pulp from the recent wave of radiation treatments, she is not allowed to have any visitors, or be around people, especially kids, or anyone who might have the slightest sniffle or hint of a germ. She is essentially quarantined for a few months.

Tonight, my sister cleverly arranged for our friends and family to all meet outside my mother’s house to sing Christmas carols to her. She sat anxiously inside, beaming with her face pressed up against the paned window. The most beautiful Christmas scene, my mother’s bright face with a perfect Christmas tree backdrop twinkling behind her as she looked out at all of us…. all the grandchildren… the whole family… everyone singing in perfect Miller 4-part harmony… I do believe it was the most magnificent Christmas caroling I have ever heard in my lifetime…

Merry Christmas…. to you… and to us….

Monster Shooting Gallery
Monster Shooting Gallery
My greatest, happiest moments these days are spending quality time with my niece and nephews. From sun up to sundown, each day blazes past in a lightning flash flurry, as we lose track of all time and space and exhaust ourselves with games, and crafts, and bike ride caravans, and spontaneous homemade stories… today we made monster cutout stand-ups for our own carnival shooting gallery… to kill and blow away with Nerf rifles and save Earth and the universe… Later, I got to re-arrange and re-imagine Barbie’s home life and party-house cocktail hour with my niece…

Cocktail Hour
Cocktail Hour

It’s 4am… tonight will be Christmas eve… I am sitting up writing this in the middle of the living room, surrounded by aunts and nephews and family, four generations, all sleeping and snoring and rustling and billowing…. my sister’s place has become the safe house or landing spot, pit stop for everyone coming into town. It is sort of like The Buckets in Charlie’s Chocolate Factory now, with everyone crammed into the same room, decked out all over the floor (but not in the same bed). My mom’s two sisters just pulled in from their long, all night drive, and before they could get to sleep, everyone gabbed and caught up and laughed and laughed… such beautiful music to hear…

We’ve tallied up quite a few health issues in the family this year. It’s the time of the life season, I guess. Despite how broken and physically crumbling we seem to be, it is still the best Christmas ever… I keep getting interrupted in my thoughts, right now, by the snorting or tearful moaning of pain or someone’s scary dream… then a brief moment of still silence… then back to the farm animal noises… so precious and sweet.

Each year is another lucky gift. We’re living it. Right now. Every day. I keep thinking this might be the last Christmas with the entire family intact… and just how super lucky we are. Merry Christmas.