Tonight, in the middle of the dark, as I was getting in my car, a neighbor leaning halfway out the window yelled,
“Hey Michael, looking good!”
Me: “Thank you. Happy Valentines Day.”
Neighbor: “Wow, nobody’s said that to me in over 10 years.”
[awkward ache-silence]

If I were King, I would make Valentines Day like Christmas… the entire month of February, everybody would wish everybody “Happy Valentines” as they passed each other on the street… or the coffee barista would forcibly greet you with it at the counter… or the postman would say it every time he sees you… all month long, we would say it to each other… and let everyone celebrate a whole month of love.

Eventually, after it became the norm, I would expand it to make it said all the time, all year long… make it a formal greeting. It would become engrained in our children at an early age. People would get conditioned to automatically say it all the time.

At first, my country would be mocked by other countries, but we would be so filled with love, that we wouldn’t care. Then, masses of heartbroken foreigners and aliens would be dying to move their families to our country of love.